Chronicles of the Unemployed

Looking for a job sucks. I used to be able to find a job so easily back in the day. Back in the 80's and 90's I could scrounge up work relatively easily that not only paid decently, but would work with my schedule. The jobs were never very glamorous, but they weren't terrible either. At some time or another I worked the following jobs: busboy, bag boy in grocery store, courier for blueprint company, pizza maker, car detailer, retail clothing sales, doughnut store employee, convenience store clerk, telemarketer, warehouse worker, yard worker, and house painter. Now I am living in easily the worst economy the U.S. has seen since the 1930's. California now has an unemployment rate that is right around 12.5% and in some rural areas of the state the unemployment rate is closer to 30-35%. I am a reasonably smart guy. I present myself well. I know how to look people in the eye, smile, and play the game of interviewing. I have always prided myself on my ability to find work and generate money without too much hassle. I know that having a college degree isn't that impressive anymore, but still I would think that with a degree and some experience I would be able to find something that pays a modest salary and doesn't require me to sell my soul or relocate to some armpit somewhere.

This week I was on craigslist as I have been for the past several weeks, going through the job listings and sending my resumes out for all sorts of jobs. I have gotten so used to typing a standard cover letter that I can practically do it in my sleep now that I've written at least a hundred or more. So I go to interviews, I meet managers and vice presidents, and occasionally the owner of a business. In some cases I am told that I would be "perfect" for the job. Of course these are the jobs that come with no base salary, and are all commission based. And when it comes to sales jobs you have to pretend that you like it that way. Because anyone who would work with a base salary is "weak". A true sales warrior wants to work for commissions because they can earn more, the sky is the limit, and they get to earn what their worth.  So as much as I would love a base of $35,000 + and the ability to earn commissions, I have to suck it up and go along with the mentality that any base salary at all is "confining".  It pisses me off because it is such a cop out for the companies that are hiring. They don't have to invest anything! They just give a person a computer, phone, some leads, and say "go for it!" They have nothing to lose.  It's the only job I can think of where a person can work for a couple of weeks and bust their ass, and walk away with nothing to show for it. Of course they all paint this great picture of how much dough you will make.

"Well if you are an average producer, which I am sure you aren't Jim, you will easily earn 5-6K per month. If you are good you will easily make over 6-7K per month and within 3 months you should be over 10K".   I have heard that story so many times now that my ears actually perk up more when someone says you can make 4-5K per month. At least that is not a pie in the sky number. At my last job they said that 100K was very realistic and expected after a few months. When I was there I didn't know anyone who was making more than 5-6K per month in my department, and most were struggling to make 3-4K per month. It's a tough walk because you have to project confidence and this "hunter" mentality, yet at the same time it's hard to not let doubts enter your mind.  It's a double edged sword and I seem to get cut no matter which side I am holding.

Sometimes I envy young bimbos. If times are tough enough they can always work in a strip club, or as an "adult entertainment provider" and make hundreds of dollars every day.  I would have no problem baring my breasts for strangers in a nightclub if I could walk out at the end of every night with $300-400. In fact I would totally exploit myself if I was 20 years old and hot. Since the laws of gravity and time start to kick in when one reaches their late 30's or early 40's it would be critical to capitalize on the "assets" one has been so blessed to possess at a young age. I would figure that at 20 years old, a girl would have 15 really good years to make money this way. Of course what happens is most of these girls have no other skills, and so when they do get older and are no longer hot enough to make money for showing their stuff, they have nothing else to fall back on (unless they fall on a mattress and work as a lower priced call girl, or fulfill the cougar fantasies of young guys).  In any event I think it's not fair that young, hot chicks can automatically make good money if they want for doing nothing more than looking hot.